Urgency

Adding another project to my list... Oh, but wait, the project has been on my list for the last several years; it's just been moved to the front of the line. A cookbook. I know. Does the world really need another cookbook? But this one is really personal. An Italian cookbook that hopes to preserve some of the best memories of my mother's family. It's just too easy to reject family, and focus on their seemingly endless number of sins. Instead, I intend to honor their strength and fortitude by documenting one skill they clearly mastered - cooking and sharing their bounty with others. A little more acceptance, and a little less resistance is my new motto. Opening to every possibility within me, some influenced by my genes, and others out there in the ethers.


My mom is involved in the process. I'm counting on her to help me document the recipes - what she's calling "homework". This adds some anxiety as we have different approaches to accomplishing this goal. Her's timeless, mine urgent. This urgency has been with me all my life. I'd like to blame turning 40, but that was 4 years ago.


I once had an astrologer tell me that I was born just before the new moon. She said those of us born at this time have an urgency about life in general. Like time is going to run out, and that's how I feel most of the time. Like doing it yesterday is best. I immediately put my arms around that - accepted her explanation without looking back. That's funny as I think about it now. Maybe that explains why I woke up at midnight with Celine Dion's version of I Drove All Night playing in my head. Why wait 'til morning, when you can drive all night?


So, until the cookbook is finished, I'll be here.