The Gravy Train - Freedom, Part II

The need for freedom runs deep in me. Those who know me will attest to this.

The past two weeks have found me a bit run down - lots of projects, both at home and professionally, and traveling. The supplements I take are holding me up, and the extra couple hours of sleep are helping too. Interesting how when I feel this way, suddenly time opens up, and the crammed schedule I normally keep just disappears. The body knows how to slow me down when I don't take the time I need for myself everyday. Amazing how I can prioritize when I need to focus on taking extra care of my body.

Eating healthy meals requires time. Time to shop, store, and prepare. Quick, healthy meals don't need to take more than 30-60 minutes, but that is still a chunk of time that can seem like forever when the rest of your life is packed. During some down time yesterday, I had the memory of a delicate, vegetable gravy that I made about 9 years ago. I don't know why I had this memory, but I got to thinking about the day I prepared it. My future in-laws were coming for dinner. I had only known them a few months, and I wanted to prepare a delicious meal. I wanted to make a gravy for the scallops and garlic and herb mashed potatoes. I found a recipe (from a cookbook I don't remember), and set out to make the meal. When I read the instructions for the gravy, I suddenly realized that it was going to take many hours. I hadn't planned on that, but I had never made something like this before.

What I can remember is the chopping, sauteing, simmering, straining, simmering. After about 5-6 hours, it was done. I can honestly say that the gravy ended up being the star of the show, the best I've ever tasted - fresh, organic vegetables, organic stock. Absolutely delicious. The rest of the meal was wonderful, too. (My stuffed mushrooms were incredible.) However, I vowed at the end of the night that I would never make a gravy like that again. I was feeling exhausted - my legs ached from standing all day, and I just wasn't sure the gravy was worth it.

Looking back at that night, the time was well worth the effort. I haven't made that gravy again, and I know it's because I couldn't justify spending 5-6 hours cooking. (What I didn't realize then was that the mushrooms were far more work intensive than the gravy - I blamed the gravy unnecessarily.) Now, the possibility of having an entire day to cook sounds delightful. And, I know what you're thinking - take an entire day and cook. Why not? That's a good question.

Until recently, cooking was something I did to nourish my body, but it was always secondary to my other activities. My priorities are changing. I thought of my great grandmother yesterday when I remembered the gravy. She spent her days cooking for her family. Cooking was the main focus of her life along with childrearing. To have nothing else to focus on...that looks like freedom to me with the hectic schedule that I keep, and with the demands I place on myself. But, the grass always looks greener on the other side. My great grandmother would have thoroughly enjoyed the freedoms I take for granted - the ability to have a career and enjoy a fulfilling personal and professional life, and do things like vote, drive, and travel.

Spending time contemplating this brings home the point that the choices I make can either support and nurture the feeling of freedom within me or not. I am choosing to do only half of what is on my to-do list for today. As a result, I do feel like I have more room to breathe. One of my desires for this month is to spend the day making bread. I need to take my time making bread. That's coming soon.

Making gravy and feeling free - that's my mantra for today.

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